Life Without
by Cathcer1984
Summary: The days following Andromeda's death are wrought with comfort and passion for Harry and Draco, but shame and fear tear them apart. What happens when they meet again years later?


Frantic pounding on the Burrow door in the middle of the night was not something any of the Weasley family were used to, Ginny heard it first being on the first floor landing and she made her way downstairs wand in hand.

Harry and Ron were the last, they heard everybody else running down the stairs Ron just rolled over and fell back asleep but Harry grabbed his wand, not bothering with a shirt and joined Arthur, Fred, George, Hermione and Ginny.

Ginny opened the door and stared in shock as a dishevelled Draco Malfoy holding a sniffling baby stood there "what do you want?" she spat.

Panting Draco looked down at her before his eyes moved over the others that were standing there and they rested on the lone black head "Harry."

Pushing through the Weasley's Harry stopped in front of Draco and Teddy "what is it?" Up close Harry could see the tears in Draco's eyes, "no" Harry whispered.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Draco wrapped his free arm around Harry's shoulders and pulled him close "I can't wake her up I didn't know what to do so I came to you."

Harry pulled away slight but remained in the blond's embrace "thank you, let's go then and be sure."

"Harry! You can't go with _him_!" Ginny had her hand on his arm and was gripping him preventing him from following Draco out the door.

"Ginny let me go. I'll be back sometime tomorrow right now I need to deal with this" he yanked his arm away and walked with Draco to the edge of the Burrow's boundary.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your sleep but I didn't know what else to do or who else to go to" Draco sighed and clutched the now sleeping Teddy closer.

"It's okay Draco," Harry heaved a sigh and took Draco's hand apparating them to Andromeda's house.

**XXXX**

The following week was torture, Harry moved into Andromeda's house with Draco and Teddy something that Ginny was not pleased about and had shouted at Harry who shouted back that she could go fuck herself before he left.

Draco was doing his best to keep a brave face on but at times in the night Harry woke to hear him sobbing and battled with himself whether he should go and comfort his friend or not, but he never did. Harry didn't know how to comfort the blond would he like to be held? Or would he like to talk? OR would he want silence?

Draco arranged the funeral and the reading of the Last Will and Testament of Andromeda Tonks was to be held on the Friday with the funeral on the Saturday. On the night after Andromeda's death Draco had taken Teddy to bed and Harry cleared up their dinner dishes before going upstairs and finding Draco leaning against the wall looking down at Teddy.

When Harry entered the room Draco looked at him and Harry could see tears tracks shining on the blond's face before he looked away. Coming up behind him Harry placed his hands on Draco's hips and pressed himself against the taller man's back, his own tears leaking through his eyes and being soaked up by Draco's shirt.

Draco turned around and returned Harry's embrace, his long arms wound around Harry's neck and shoulders. Draco pressed soft kisses to Harry's temple, cheek, lips Harry returned the light pressure and the kiss soon got heated as comfort morphed into desire. Harry pulled out of Draco's arms smiling softly at the look of confusion on the angelic face Harry glanced towards Teddy's sleeping form and then back at Draco who took Harry's hand and brushed past him leading him towards his room.

Draco and Harry moved together and resumed their kisses even as they removed their clothes their mouths were never far apart, breathing the other's air or brushing softly. No words were spoken, it was comfort, it was desire, it was wishes and together they were passion.

Once they were both naked Draco pulled Harry to him, gasping as heated flesh met heated flesh together the two men moved to lie down side by side on Draco's bed. Draco took initiative and rolled Harry onto his back, kissed him deeply as one hand prepared himself with conjured lube, Harry gave a start when Draco's slicked hand grasped his cock and rubbed the lube onto it.

Moving until Harry's erection was at his entrance Draco started to sit himself on Harry, moving up and farther down each time. "Dray-"

"Hush" Draco whispered before pressing his lips to Harry's once more, swallowing the sounds.

The move together in bold strokes and soft touches, together they reach their climax swallowing the other's moans. Draco moved off of Harry and onto his side curled around the brunet who wrapped his arms around Draco after he'd cast a cleaning charm over the two of them.

For the rest of the week the nights seemed to take on the same routine, Draco would take Teddy to bed Harry would come for him and kiss him and then they'd have sex, sometimes more than once a night and every time they only gasped, groaned or moaned. Each time was beyond words.

**XXXX**

The day of Andromeda's funeral dawned warm and bright much like Andromeda herself was, the funeral was in the morning and the wake was being held at Andromeda's house where Harry and Draco were staying. They left Kreacher in charge of food for the wake; he had recruited Winky from Hogwarts to help.

Like Harry, Draco was wearing black slacks and a black shirt and jacket but he had a white rose in the jackets lapel where as Harry had a light pink rose, in memory of Tonks. Draco found it ironic that instead of making him look pale and sickly the black clothing seemed to highlight his pale skin and blond hair giving him an ethereal quality whilst with Harry it made his eyes stand out even more.

Andromeda was being buried between her husband and daughter in the family plot of a muggle churchyard. When they arrived at the church many of Andromeda's muggle friends, Ted's family, the Weasley's and Narcissa were there. As soon as he saw his mother Draco ran forward and pulled her into a tight hug "I'm sorry Mum. I'm so sorry."

Narcissa nodded but said nothing it was clear she was trying to keep her emotions in check. Harry came up behind Draco with Teddy in his arms and as he shifted Teddy onto his left hip he placed his right hand in the small of Draco's back offering as much comfort as he could in that one touch.

Draco smiled and leaned into Harry's touch, neither boy noticing Ginny's glare, Hermione's small smile or Ron's raised eyebrows.

The ceremony was sweet and not too long, Narcissa cuddled Teddy close as Harry leant into Draco's warmth as much as Draco leant into the strength of Harry's body, despite the blond being the taller of the two. In the cemetery as they watched the casket sink into the ground Harry turned his head into Draco's shoulder as he wept Draco raised his hand, hesitating momentarily at Ginny's hate-filled glare before running his hand through Harry's hair in a calming gesture. Once he reached the tips of the dark hair, Draco left his hand on the back of Harry's neck, locking eyes with Ginny again as he visibly ran his thumb up and down.

After the ceremony everybody made their way to Andromeda's house, Kreacher had out done himself with the food but made himself scarce because of the muggles. All the guests were milling around the living room, dining room and outdoors Harry had put himself in the corner of the living room where Ted's brother and his wife, Ginny, Hermione and Molly were trading stories about Andromeda. Harry was watching them closely and smiled slightly when Draco came over.

Ginny tensed and snarled as she, and the rest of the room, watched as Draco wrapped his arms around Harry dropped a kiss to his forehead. "You okay?"

Harry nodded "I should be asking you that, she was your aunt."

"An aunt I never knew until the end of her life and the beginning of mine. I was told she was mad and a blood traitor, but I know she wasn't. I have a lot to thank her for."

"Yeah?" Harry tilted his head up and frowned.

"Stopping fishing Potter you're about as subtle as a brick through a window." Draco softened his voice more and sighed "she brought me into a family, dysfunctional but a family none-the-less, she showed me I can be a good person, she introduced me to Teddy and of course, there's you."

"Me?"

"You, Harry. Andromeda showed me I could be a good person, you made me believe that I was worth something, not just to myself but to someone else. You made me a good person and I have Andromeda to thank for that because if Teddy had never gotten sick-" Draco trailed off and Harry got his meaning the words _'we'd never be here'_ were left unsaid.

Harry blinked furiously and Draco smiled softly as he could see the tears clinging to Harry's eyelashes making his eyes shine and seem more like the emeralds that they imitate in colour. Harry's breath huffed across Draco's lips in a staccato beat causing Draco to bit his lower lip before leaning forward to brush his lips against Harry's which parted just enough to suck the blond's bottom lip into Harry's mouth as Draco tugged on Harry's upper lip.

A cough sounded next to them and the broke apart looking to see Ted's brother's wife, Mary, next to them glaring much in the same way as Ginny and Molly were. Hermione and Ted's brother, Frank, were smiling.

"Can I help you?" Draco drawled.

"You're an abomination, men and women get married not men and men!" Mary was spiteful as she cried out in disgust.

"We're not married, ma'am we won't be polluting you're ideals for any longer than this evening."

Mary huffed and looked at the two red-heads "they agree with me, they know you should be ashamed of yourselves. You don't belong here in Andy's home-"

"Andromeda loved us, she accepted Harry into her family when he had none of his own many people here have! Harry is Teddy's godfather and that little boy loves him so you can take your homophobia and shove it where the sun don't shine" Draco growled but the woman held her ground, neither had realised they were gaining an audience from the other room.

"And what about you, hmm? Andy loved him but what about you? What are you to Teddy?"

"His cousin, Andromeda was my aunt on my mother's side."

"Ha! Andy hated her family, she never spoke of them and _if_ she did there was nothing nice to say."

"Oh much like you then."

"Draco, stop" Harry tugged on Draco's arm "please."

Draco's features immediately softened as he looked at Harry who was scanning the crowd nervously "what's wrong Harry?"

"I- uh," Harry flushed and his eyes darted towards Ron and the Weasley's in the doorway and to Draco everything was clear.

"You're ashamed."

The words were quiet and hung between them and Harry never denying them caused Draco's eyes to sting and his throat close up so he could barely swallow.

"I'm done."

The blond turned and walked towards the door, the silence in the room was deafening as Draco opened the front door and walked out onto the street not looking back as he shut the door. Harry stood staring at the spot where Draco had stood, Harry was in complete disbelief he couldn't believe he'd left just like that, no explanation or anything. Then again, Harry reminded himself, it was pretty clear that you are ashamed to be gay to be different in yet another way and why didn't Draco see it like that?

Hermione came and put her arms around Harry as he stared helplessly at the door, gently she directed him away from the room and it's staring occupants.

**XXXX**

_Death Eater to Man Eater_

_Draco Malfoy the notorious son of convicted Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy, was spotted in his home town of Wiltshire with a mysterious French man. The two men were caught in a compromising position [see picture below] and as Malfoy lead his Frenchman through the crowd we caught a glimpse of him in a less than pristine condition [see picture above]-_

Harry looked at the above picture, Draco had one hand up in front of his face shield himself the other was behind him tugging on the hand of a tall dark haired man whose head was down and his free hand was covering his face. Sighing Harry threw the old news paper into the fire and watched with satisfaction as it burnt, the first time Harry had see that paper was four years ago almost a year after Draco had walked out of Andromeda's house and Harry's life.

Teddy had taken to Narcissa and she looked after him during the week days whilst Harry was at work and the occasional weekend. Harry and Narcissa had formed a close bond, she invited him over to the Manor to celebrate Teddy's second birthday and knowing the reason for his hesitation she merely told him that "my son is in France Harry."

It was now four years later and Teddy was five, he had gained some control over his skills and could hold a look he wanted for approximately an hour. It was through Teddy and his skill that Harry learned of Draco's involvement in the child's life, apparently when Draco had come back to England with the Frenchman he had taken an interest in Teddy's magic.

When Harry went to pick Teddy up from the Manor after a long day at work, sorting through files with no practical curse-breaking Harry was already frustrated and when he saw Teddy with blond hair and grey eyes it was the final straw.

Teddy had taken on Narcissa's looks enough but her eyes were blue, Draco's however were grey. The five year old charged through the door to barrel into Harry's legs "Daddy! Daddy!"

Harry knelt down and scooped him up into a hug before looking into hauntingly familiar grey eyes on the small face "did you have a good day Teddy?"

"Yeah! Uncle Draco and I went to the zoo."

Harry raised his eyebrows "the zoo huh?"

"Yeah but you know what? He can't talk to the snakes like you can which is okay 'cause he likes the stripy horses and the elephants and the lions like I do!"

Harry's hand came down onto Teddy's should "breathe."

Smiling sheepishly Teddy stopped talking and as he took a few gulps of air a movement in the doorway cause Harry to look up and find Draco watching him with an impassive face.

"Draco." Harry stood and held out his hand "it's been a while."

"Five years." He clasped Harry's hand, eyes still boring into Harry as if trying to take in every difference that five years had made.

"Indeed," Harry drew his hand away and looked down at Teddy who was looking between the two, his hair now black but his eyes still grey.

Narcissa came into the room and saw the three quickly she took Teddy's hand "come Teddy, the house elves have made a treacle tart that I think you should take home for your pudding."

Teddy's eyes light up "oh yes Grammy I think so too," he said the all the seriousness a five year old could muster.

Harry smiled at Narcissa in thanks watching as they left, "I didn't realise he called you 'daddy'" Draco's voice was quiet and coloured with regret.

"I tried to stop him but both Narcissa and Molly think it's good him. I have told him that he has a mummy and daddy in heaven but they let me be his daddy on earth," Harry shrugged uncomfortably.

"Ah, does he have a mummy on earth?"

Harry closed his eyes at the bitterness in Draco's voice "no, there never would be a woman. You know that, but it's hard to have a social life with a child. The mothers at the park think he's adorable and dote on him."

Draco never said anything but took a step forward his face softening "it's good to see you Harry" the words were whispered like a caress over Harry's face.

"What about the Frenchman?"

"Pierre?"

"Is that his name? I always referred to him as the French Bastard" Draco snorted and his lips twitched in amusement.

Harry couldn't help but smile back, the moment was gone in an instant as the door opened and Teddy came in carrying the treacle tart Narcissa behind him watching closely.

"Ready?"

"Yes, Daddy" Teddy clutched the plate to his chest and Harry noticed that the tart didn't move obviously it had been spelled to stay in place. Harry picked Teddy up and moved towards Narcissa who pressed a fleeting kiss to Teddy's forehead then Harry's cheek.

"Till tomorrow Harry," Narcissa spoke softly.

"Of course, would you be able to have him overnight? I have a-" he glanced at Draco, "business meeting."

"Oh we'd be delighted!"

Harry grinned and kissed her cheek, "thanks" before going towards the fire Teddy shouted "bye!" causing Harry to wince at the volume before they were gone in a whirl of flames.

When they arrived home Harry sent Teddy to wash up for tea whilst he pulled out the newspaper, read it and tossed it into the fire before heading to the kitchen to make dinner.

The following evening found Harry sitting at his kitchen table with Mrs Noble, she was young and married to an elderly gentleman and she had approached Harry for a job. Harry suspected she wanted to have sex with him but treated her as he would any other client, Mrs Noble had brown hair perfectly coiffed, make-up, expensive clothes and jewellery.

"Mrs Noble-"

"Please call me Melissa" she simpered.

Harry sighed "Melissa, I have looked over the file and the fountain is not cursed with anything that a simple _finite incantatem_ will not fix."

"I tried that Harry it just didn't work."

"Do you have any nieces or nephews at Hogwarts? In their fourth year?"

"Yes I do, Raymond."

"Then I suggest you get him to perform the spell and your fountain will be good as new."

Harry stood with the intention of leading her out when the floo flared up and Draco came striding out "Harry-" he stopped abruptly as he spotted Melissa Noble at the dining room table, two empty cups as well.

"It's not what it looks like Draco."

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

Harry sighed "Mrs Noble, I'm sorry for the interruption. Let me show you to the door," Harry led the simpering lady to the front door and felt Draco's eyes on them the whole way.

Harry came back into the dining room "I didn't mean to interrupt your _date_."

"It wasn't a date it was a business meeting."

"Then why did you give Teddy to my mother if you weren't going to fuck her?"

Harry was taken aback by the venom in Draco's voice "I'm a private curse breaker and she has a fountain that's cursed and hired me, if it was dangerous or had gotten worse than what I knew I may have had to go out and fix it and I couldn't leave Teddy here alone."

Draco bit his lip "oh."

Softening his face and his voice Harry said "I wasn't going to sleep with her, I haven't- uh it's been five years since-" he trailed off as Draco looked up sharply.

"What?" his voice was hoarse.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said bitterly, even though he still wanted Draco they were both hurt by the other and Draco was with the French Bastard _Pierre_. Harry wouldn't be the other man, "why are you here, Draco?"

Flushing Draco looked slightly sheepish "Mother sent me. She says it's nothing to worry about but it looks like Teddy's got a bit of the flu. He's shivering and running a fever but Mother doesn't think it's anything to worry about, not for a few days at least."

"Oh" Harry huffed out and turned towards the kitchen "you want a drink?"

"No thank you, I should go."

Harry turned to face Draco who hadn't moved, "you can't have one drink with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Don't do this Harry" at Harry's confused expression Draco elaborated. "Don't try to be friends with me, it can't work. "

"Why not?" When Draco remained silent Harry stepped forward asking more forcefully "why not?"

"Because we can't be friends Harry, we never were. We were a couple and a good one at that but we weren't friends."

"Yeah well if you hadn't walked out on me we'd still be a couple!" Harry roared.

"If you weren't so _ashamed_ of us then maybe I wouldn't have walked! I loved you Harry and you just let me walk away! I was waiting for you to call me back but you never did!" he screamed, "you never did" Draco repeated quietly.

"I-"

"If that old lady hadn't spoken we'd still be together, but would you be open about it? Did you tell the Weasley's that I was a mistake or did you tell them that you were homosexual?"

"Not in so many words I didn't; Ginny won't speak to me, Ron gets awkward when it's just the two of us but the rest are alright with it."

Draco was shocked and it showed on his face, Harry stepped forward and brushed his knuckles across Draco's cheek "I love you Draco, I did five years ago and I never stopped. I knew you were back from France and I was going to visit then that article came out and –"

"That article was a load of shit, Pierre is my cousin and I brought him back to meet Pansy. Pierre had just told me that he was going to ask Pans to marry him and I hugged him, that's the photo in the paper. I didn't correct the paper because I am gay and I'm not ashamed of it."

"Woah" Harry breathed out "that's one hell of a story."

Draco smiled sadly but said nothing more.

"Well would you like a drink now?"

"No Harry I wouldn't."

Harry frowned "but I thought-"

"I know but right now it hurts to be this close to you and I couldn't cope with a drink."

"So come to bed with me."

Draco stared at Harry before nodding slightly, moving together they kissed briefly and to Draco it felt like coming home more so than living in the Manor. Harry lead them upstairs to his room, the one he and Draco had shared years ago Draco looked around nothing much had changed.

Harry undid Draco's robes gasping in delight as he saw that Draco was naked and hard underneath them, Draco returned the favour peppering the tanned skin with nips and kisses until they were both writhing in desire.

Lying down underneath Draco, Harry smiled as the blond fumbled for his wand to cast a lubrication charm before his fingers probed at Harry's entrance as his tongue thrust into Harry's mouth.

Once he was sufficiently prepared Draco add more lube onto his cock and slowly slid his way into Harry, pausing occasionally for Harry to get used to the feeling. Sliding back out, angling his hips and thrusting back in Draco knew he had hit Harry's prostrate when the brunet arched his back and let out a guttural cry.

Moving in sync the two soon reached completion; Draco had started fisting Harry's cock which caused Harry to come a few moments before Draco. Slumping down on top of Harry who rolled them onto their sides, wincing as Draco's flaccid cock slipped out of him.

Draco tucked his head under Harry's chin and wrapped his arms around the smaller man who pressed a kiss to the sweaty blond hair "love you."

Draco arms tightened "love you too Harry."

They lay together for a while until Harry whispered "Draco? Are you asleep?"

"Yes" came the muffled reply.

"Are you going to leave in the morning?"

"Nope, I'm not going anywhere ever. I'm staying right here with you and Teddy."

Smiling Harry pulled Draco impossibly closer "good 'cause I'm not going to let you go."

"What about Teddy, Harry?"

"What about him?"

Draco tilted his head up, eyes heavy with fatigue "what will we tell him?"

"That he has a Daddy and a Papa on earth, who both love him very much."

"Good that's what I thought, we'll let him spend the day at Mother's then we'll get our son in the afternoon."

"Our son, Draco, he's our son. And I have a question."

"Another one? Harry I want to sleep."

"I know just answer me this, you've already got a place in my heart and Teddy's and both of our lives. I just want to make it official, will you marry me Draco?"

Harry froze when he got no response "please, say something."

"I- Are you sure?" Both were wide awake now staring at each other with wide eyes "yes Draco I'm sure. I love you and I want to marry you and I want to grow old with you. What do you say? Marry me?"

"Yes!" Draco exclaimed with a wide grin before pressing his lips to Harry's. They sighed into each other's arms and Draco melted into Harry's embrace, there would be time tomorrow to tell the family and Teddy but for right now there was only the other.


End file.
